Urban Toledo GangThis is wierd…

Countless lives were lost, and one would be hard pressed to find a soul not touched by the Great American Thread War, yet until now there has been very little said on the subject. In writing this book, The Great American Thread War, Vol. 1: The Opening Volley through the Ten Troll Years (2019-2047), I hope to finally chronicle the first years of the struggle. Today, the War (as it is most often known, and so I refer to it in this volume for the sake of brevity) is still fresh in our minds. The brave young men and women who were fighting in Europe, Russia, Mars, and yes even our homeland of North America, and were lucky enough to escape the fates of many of their fallen comrades have only recently returned.

Were it possible, I would love to tell the entire history of the War now, but there is simply too much to do so in one volume. While this first volume is being published now, I have plans for eleven volumes to follow. I hope to also release a thirteenth volume containing the entire text of the Thread to End All Threads with commentary, but until I am able to do, this first volume will have to do. In it, I attempt to explain not only the meaning behind the Thread but also the cultural context from which it sprung. The contemporary reader may find it difficult to understand exactly how the War began without knowing what sort of underlying forces were at play in those times.

As such, I begin with what is now widely considered to be the true start of the battle, at Post #12. The First Eleven posts are covered within this first section as well, but mainly to give context to why User MasterHalo69 first declared User BasketballGRRL a “fagot nazi fag”. While the Fagot Nazi Fags were a major player in the War, it was not until 2132 that they were able to conquer the moon and bring prominence to their cause, and as such I do not cover the sect beyond its very beginning. This will be a subject of one of the later volumes I previously mentioned.

It is my intention to be as factual as possible, but much of the Ten Troll Years is lost to history, beyond what we see in the Thread. While many of the years 2037-2047 are unknown to us, I use many established sources and even other historians to help piece what we do know together. I believe that when I waver from pure fact to more speculation, it should be easy for the reader to tell. I would hope that this volume is not judged prematurely or inadequate because of such an approach.

Finally, I think it is important to enjoy reading about the War. While much is hard to stomach, a person can take great comfort in the years of peace and prosperity that we have now entered into since the Internet was turned off, and is only learning about the War and not being bored by such a great stretch of our history that will stop us, lest someone somewhere tires of his or her life, and decides to Log On Line again.

Roberto Twilight LOLCatson III, phD. 12 September 2478.