Urban Toledo Gang

Steve Fomper reports on white paranoia.

The rise of Barack Obama to the most powerful postion in the world has been a story full of integrity and high politics, and most breathed a sigh of relief as Bush flew away and Obama marched in on historic Jan. 20th. But only a few days into the presidency, a sense of subtle doubt has seemed to creep up on some of the white voters. On special task Interviewing people from all over the homeland on their thoughts about Obama, i began to see a pattern emerge underneath the prevailant optimism. In areas such as North Carolina and Alabama, I noticed small flocks of middle aged relatively uneducated white males who voted for the president but on seeing him in the whitehouse began to feel a sense of fear. In Carolina I ran into the animated Billy Cutler. A 54 year old house builder for most of his life and married with 4 kids in a strong southern christian family,Billy was a strong embodiment of midwest americana. I asked him his thoughts on the president. ” Everyone was all happy bout this president so i figured, hey, maybe this guys not so bad, america is behind him and i consider myself a patriot, so i voted for the man. But once i saw him stroll into the whitehouse i began to have my doubts, i mean shit, the black panthers still have a lot of say and all what with rap and everything and you just never know his full connections.  And he just looked so confident and sure and tall and has such a booming voice, and well, i’m rather short, insecure, and my voice is unusually high and soft because i worked installing insulation for 20 years and the dust crystals cut my vocal chords to smithereens, and i just felt momentary hatred seeing this man so much better than i. And you know Steve, the blacks are taking over, time to pack your bags.” I notice he literally does have many bags packed in the back of his modest living room. I ask him where he’s going. “Canada Steve, the last promised land for us whites except maybe Russia. See the blacks dont like the cold, like if you’ve ever seen a bee paralyzed by the early morning frost its kinda like that for em. And they’ve conquered most of our sports by this point, even got golf, and i’ve never enjoyed nascar cause its too loud, but in the north you got hockey, one of the whites last stands. And my two daughters Vanessa and Charity are always watching that mtv and most of what i see is black men racing lamborghinis and talking gibberish but my daughters love these guys.  Lets face it, they’re stronger, louder, faster, and they make more popular music. Us whites are on our way out of the evolutionary plan buddy, but god damn i’m gonna move to canda and try to forget it. I mean, maybe we’re still a bit smarter than them and we can just leave blacks the earth and the whites can explore space.” Steve Fomper reporting.

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Hi, My names Ted McMulbock and I represent my client, John Waters Esp. Jim Fox is gay. How do I know this, Becuase John Waters gave him an EXCELENT hand job behind the Squirtin’ Irish Pub last week AND HE LIKED IT! Elect John Waters and he’ll make sure Jim Fox doesn’t get elected. Also, You can put wood all over your poster Jim but it ain’t going to make US get wood. HA! LOL!

John Waters Campaign Poster. He is better than Jim Fox at everything.

You know who to vote for.

Stick a few hundred of these in the mail and the title is mine!

Jim Fox does not back down from criticism nor does he get intimidated by small dicked “politicians” like John Waters who is so obviously gay that he invented it. He ain’t gonna be pokin’ no buttholes when I’m packin’. Just your standard .50 cal Browning mounted machine gun emplacement in the back of my ’97 Dodge Ram. Vote for me on November 4th and I will ensure that every Dodge Ram (and some Chevy T-150′s, the ones before they got all exported to the communists) will have the same mobile machine gun emplacement as I do. Making Montana safer for the children, who have it tough already, what with being raped all the time and all.