Me and Megan
Jason,
It’s dad. I don’t supposed you’d be able to give me a hand here. See, darngonitall computer has been acting up again. I don’t even know why I bother with these things. Things were a whole lot easier without them.
I was trying to get on that internet thing to try and find some information about those gloves I was telling you about the other day. Seeing if I might be able to order some of them for your sister’s birthday coming up here. I checked Wal-Mart and K-Mart and all them places, but those buggers are hard to find. But your mother was saying how Megan got her last pair from that Amazon company on the internet site and I should just order some from there. Of course, the last thing I need is to start getting
Also, let me know if you find these on sale anywhere
them WWW hackers and identity thefts getting all my credit card and social security information, so I thought I’d try to find a phone number or address on the site where I could talk to a real life person about them gloves and how much they cost and all.
Well, as soon as I touched that little world with the magnifying glass button with the ol’ clicker, it started acting funny. It was making lots of noises like when that Betsy dog had gotten into that pen and threw up 13 of Megan’s baby rabbits while we were all eating chili dogs, only mix that with one of them police sirens you hear on Bourne Identity when he’s in Europe. Finally it brought up that internet box, but it was going really slow like, so I blew into that slot where Mom puts the disk that has the Christmas letter template on it. It seemed to be working a bit better after that.
Next thing I know, some girl shows up and has got this enormous breasts while there’s some black guy sticking his thinger in her butt and a Mexican putting his thinger in her mouth, and she keeps wanting to cough it back up. I thought dangnabbit, I’ve caught one of them hacker viruses. Well, I didn’t know how to get rid of the dang thing. I started clicking on this and that and just more pictures of these girls with them black guys keep showing up all over the place.
Anyway, I managed to get rid of most of them just by clickering them away, but now I’ve got a bunch of the warning flag things, and the clicker’s not working anymore, and there ain’t no hourglass or nothing. So, if you could take a look at this here screen and let me know how to get rid of this mess I’ll take you out to Applebees or something. But try to be quick before your mother gets back from the grocery store, because I’ll be in a heck of trouble if she sees them penises and vaginas all over her fancy computer setup.
When you call me, you’ll have to call me on your mother’s cell phone, because the house phone is still being used by that internet hookup or whatever you call that, and I can’t get it off. Hope to hear from you soon.
Love, Dad.